mommy club

On Thursday, March 19th, I officially become a mother. Little did I realize that I officially became part of a world wide club of mothers. This fact has been exemplified time and time again since Ruthie has been born. Mothers and grandmothers come out of the woodwork to converse with me, ooh and ah, touch Ruthie, reminisce of their younger years as mothers and give advice. A lot of these interactions are welcomed by me. After all, who wouldn't be a little pleased at all of the attention? However, some of the attention is unwelcome such as one woman thought it her place to reach into Ruthie's carrier, find her binkie and force it into Ruthie's mouth. It was one of those times that time stood still, my mind racing, thinking...."I can't believe she did that! Ask permission please!" Next time, my mommy protective mode will be on and ready.

Conversations seem to always center around three themes: the pregnancy experience, the birth experience and the parenting experience. I have been surprised to discover that most women love to inform me of their negative pregnancy and or birth experiences. It is as if they feel compelled to unload their stories on me in order to feel better! I would rather not hear these "stories." With every negative story I hear, it makes me feel more sick inside. Unfortunately, it is not polite to tell a woman you would rather not hear her story. The best I can do is let the words come in one ear and out the other. I suppose that the "mommy club" can be beneficial psychologically for mothers to unload on each other, I'd just rather moms stick to positive stories and happy moments!

There should be a rule not to discuss any of the three themes around people who do not have children. I remember in the not too far past what it was like to be among a circle of women who chatted endless about the three themes. I was childless and had nothing to contribute to the conversation. In order to make childless and or single people welcome, keep the three themes at home or at the very least, to a minimum. I strive to be sensitive to include everyone in conversation. This, I have learned from experience.